Altered Addictions: Buried Shadow

This installation represents my evolving relationship with my personal shadow, as embodied by the symbol of altered cigarette boxes. I sought to manipulate materials in the same way that my addiction has manipulated me. I have been pushed around, isolated, and weakened by my addiction. Primary metaphors inherent in materials informed me of the roots and current dimensions of my dependency. The rhythmic process of hand sewing - wrapping, pulling, burning, tugging, and knotting – was a means to re-author and re-contextualize self-harm into self-care. Each box is characterized by a theme underlying the many facets of my addiction. Among these themes are perfectionism, attachment, grief-work, and body-image. The boxes nesting within the organic ground of roots and dirt represent a revision of the attachment relationship I sought through my addiction to cigarettes. This revised attachment is nourishing rather than maladaptive. The earthy base offers the shelter and security necessary for these symbols of my shadow to thrive and evolve. Through externalizing and objectifying these shadow fragments I have begun to slowly integrate disowned self-aspects towards integration and psychic healing.